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The story of Jews in America and the Jews at Temple Israel parallel each other. When Jews first arrived in the United States, they were living in big cities, amongst one another. After WWII, Jews were able to move to the suburbs in part due to something that over our history was unattainable, a secular education and affluence. Temple Israel’s story is similar, starting with a small foothold in West Long Beach, growing with a large influx of Jews around the time of the war, to where we are today.

Our early rabbis were ‘typical’ of the time, often coming from Germany, anxious to try new freedoms not possible in Europe. In the post-war years, most Reform synagogues eschewed wearing kippot and tallit. In fact, Rabbi Grafman was so ‘modern’ that even B’nai Mitzvah were discouraged, and it was not until the congregation requested Rabbi Kaelter to wear a kippa that it became commonplace at Temple Israel.

As time moved forward, American Reform synagogues became ‘more liberal’ reflecting their communities. At Temple Israel, we celebrated our first same-sex marriage in 2013, and in 2018, non-Jews who committed to living a Jewish life could become full members of the congregation. But, as recently as 20 years ago, interfaith marriage was either not allowed or only with significant barriers as the non-Jewish partner had to go through a conversion process, and together promise to raise their kids in a Jewish household.

With changes over time and new leadership, intermarriage has become more common, if not the norm, at Temple Israel. It has been estimated that 50-60% of our new members are interfaith with one Jewish and one non-Jewish partner. National surveys suggest these are the same numbers seen across US Reform congregations, and as a result the actual number of Jewish families is growing. This contrasts with the Orthodox community’s fear that said interfaith marriage would result in self-imposed, internal holocaust leading to the demise of Judaism in America. In fact, the most recent Pew Report from 2020 notes that two-thirds of intermarriage families raise their kids in a Jewish household. I would postulate that nearly every one of our intermarried families are raising their kids in a Jewish household, as evidenced by our burgeoning Torah Center population!

So, as the inevitable arc of progress moves inexorably towards the future, I have two questions. One is relatively minor, the second a bit more controversial. As non-Jewish partners formally convert to Judaism, the question is: How do they wish to be addressed? Jew by Choice, just ‘Jews’, or by a different moniker? If you are someone who has gone through conversion, I would love to hear from you. The second question has been bouncing around our Temple and the Board for years: Can a non-Jewish member of the congregation, who has not converted for whatever reason, serve on the Board of Directors, and by extension become the President of the Board? At present the answer is ‘No’, but in 2024/5785, what is the sense of the congregation? I encourage you to email me (President@tilb.org) your thoughts on these two questions and be sure to include your background reasoning.